Todays headlines Intolerance.

If there is one word that occupies headlines in India today, it is intolerance. Pick up any newspaper; switch on any news channel, and the country is debating about it.

Unfortunately, the media has over simplified this. Intolerance is but only one of the many reasons why our community is distressed today. And not everyone returning an award is protesting against intolerance. Many are unhappy over other issues as well. Increasing violence, stifling of  expression,  bans, the insecurity of minorities, murder of rationalist thinkers, rapes: these are but a few of the concerns.Over the last couple of weeks, several incidents have taken place that reinforce the perception that India’s vaunted secularism is under siege. These include continued attacks on Muslims in the name of cow protection in different parts of the country and the justification of killing in the name of protection by Panchjanya Magazine, a known mouthpiece of extremists. All these incidents portray India as an increasingly intolerant society. I do not think the blame for all these can be left at Modi’s door. But it is important for him to stop the decline. A Governor who thinks Hindustan is only for Hindus should be asked to step down. A minister who thinks APJ was a good President even though he was a Muslim deserves a slap on the face. And then, there are the familiar motor mouths constantly out to create mayhem wherever possible. Only Prime minister Modi can tell them to shut up.

For all this is vitiating the atmosphere. Thinking people are unhappy. No, it’s not political. It’s not against the current dispensation. If anything, it is the voice of a new India trying to be heard over the raucous. The frustration comes from the fact that the illiberalism of the past has now been replaced by a new illiberalism, in some ways more ferocious. It is not what we expected from the new regime. Those who are returning their awards are sad, disappointed people. And they are sadder because their motives are being misconstrued.

I have seen some of them trying to explain themselves on news TV and failing. It’s not always easy to explain or justify one’s disappointment and journalists are eager to capture conflict. So they ask questions that force people, even thinking people, on the back foot. Most of them have no convincing answers to give when they were asked why they did not protest earlier, during the Congress years, when equally wrong things happened. Why didn’t you return your awards then? Such questions have no real answers. Protests are seldom timed to perfection. They happen.

The fact is: It’s a long time since we expected anything from our politicians. The Congress killed all our hope, particularly during its second UPA tenure. It was Modi who gave us hope with his high pitched election campaign. We suddenly began to believe in the possibility of change, real change. That is exactly why we are so disappointed today. The mandate for change was also a mandate for hope. And that hope has been buried. That’s all. Modi’s minders are reading too much politics into it.

If the same things had happened during a Congress regime, no one would have felt so anguished. They are anguished today because they expected far better from Modi. Modi had promised them that he would change India. He had not promised them crackpot bans or lynch mobs. He had promised hope and change. So, in their heads, Modi (and no, not the BJP) has a personal responsibility to put things right. When Modi chooses to keep quiet or look away people are even more frustrated.

The award returnees are not lemmings resorting to mass suicide. They are just few people, intelligent people, thinking people trying to express a view. This is no vile conspiracy. This is just a simple warning sign. And the current government should notice it and try to build the consensus PM Modi had promised us during his election campaign.

No one is asking for a change in government. (Not as yet.) What we want is a change in the quality of governance. Is that too much to ask for?

I say no.

NOT FOR SALE # Human Trafficking.

When the word slavery comes to mind in the present day most people think of it as something that has passed, a long and tragic historical event that involved the capture and exportation and exploitation of human beings as forced labor with no freedom of movement or choice. Slavery brings to mind the forcible deportation of Africans into the new world, associated with colonization and empirical money making ventures, like sugar, coffee and cotton. Yet, the reality of the situation is that slavery exists today, and on an even greater scale than it did during the empirical era.
Human trafficking is one of today's most egregious human rights violations. Traffickers prey on the most vulnerable members of society: people burdened with poverty, disabilities and discrimination. Trafficking in persons refer to the illegal trade or "sale" of human beings for sexual exploitation or forced labor through abduction, the use or threat of force, deception and fraud. It knows no gender, race, age, or even boundaries (due to globalization). 

Slavery today is often called by other names, like human trafficking and undocumented immigration as well as many other like savory monikers but it is still slavery and people are still stripped of human dignity, choice and human rights on a grand scale. Women and children smuggled across national or international borders are made to forcibly participate in the shady sex trade or work in unsanitary and even dangerous conditions  for little or no compensation. There are even many known cases where women and children have been taken to other countries as forced domestic servants or nannies, with coercion and fraud as a tactic for the voluntary immigration of unknowing victims and families who often believe they have done their child a favor sending them somewhere to get an education and live in a nice house. Families often do not find out until it is to late, if they ever do, that they have put their child or their sister or wife in harms way by allowing them to leave the home to help someone cook, clean or care for their children.

 The slavery of today is subtler, as there is no official government recognition of its existence in many nations, there is a great deal of governmental inaction as millions of individuals in groups or alone are smuggled into other countries to provide labor for industries which cannot hire their own workers due to pa scale, conditions and pure greed. The problem is often born of rural poverty as the people, who are given at least a minimal choice are usually made promises that are never kept and often end up in circumstances even more dire than those they are fleeing.

 At least 700,000 persons annually, primarily women and children, are trafficked within or across international borders. Many of these persons are trafficked into the international sex trade, often by force, fraud, or coercion. Traffickers primarily target women and girls, who are disproportionately affected by poverty, the lack of access to education, chronic unemployment, discrimination, and the
lack of economic opportunities in countries of origin.

 Human Trafficking has turned into a major world crisis and needs to be known about. Something needs to happen around the whole world so that human trafficking can end, what that might be nobody knows. People are doing everything in their power to try to help, and they are upgrading everyday. Even though there are lot of programs already helping to stop human trafficking, there needs to be a lot more, there can never be enough. People just need to be aware of the problem so they know what they can do to prevent it from growing and happening. If there were more people who helped and understand human trafficking then it wouldn’t be the second biggest and fastest growing crime rate in the world. “You can only sell a drug once, but you can sell a human being over and over”.

Child labour a sad reality.

India is my country, the current rising  "Make in India", a developing one but  sadly the home to the largest number of child laborers in the world. The census found an increase in the number of child laborers from 11.28 million in 1991 to 12.59 million in 2001. M.V. Foundation in Andhra Pradesh found nearly 400,000 children, mostly girls between seven and 14 years of age, toiling for 14-16 hours a day in cottonseed production across the country of which 90% are employed in Andhra Pradesh alone.

Poverty and lack of social security are the main causes of child labor. The increasing gap between the rich and the poor, privatization of basic services and the non-liberal economic policies are causing major sections of the population out of employment and without basic needs. This adversely affects children more than any other group. Entry of multinational corporations into industry without proper mechanisms to hold them accountable has lead to the use of child labor. Lack of quality universal education has also contributed to children dropping out of school and entering the labor force. A major concern is that the actual number of child laborers goes UN-detected. Laws that are meant to protect children from hazardous labor are ineffective and not implemented correctly.

A growing phenomenon is using children as domestic workers in urban areas. The conditions in which children work is completely unregulated and they are often made to work without food, and very low wages, resembling situations of slavery. There are cases of physical, sexual and emotional abuse of child domestic workers. The argument for domestic worker is often that families have placed their children in these homes for care and employment. There has been a recent notification by the Ministry of Labor making child domestic work as well as employment of children in dhabas, tea stalls and restaurants "hazardous" occupations.

According to HAQ: Center for child rights, child labor is highest among schedules tribes, Muslims, schedule castes and OBC children. The persistence of child labor is due to the inefficiency of the law, administrative system and because it benefits employers who can reduce general wage levels. There is a lack of political will to actually see to the complete ban of child labor.

There is another type of child labor called bonded labor which is a  hidden phenomenon as  majority of them are found in the informal sector. Bonded labor means the employment of a person against a loan or debt or social obligation by the family of the child or the family as a whole. It is a form of slavery. Children who are bonded with their family or inherit a debt from their parents are often found in agricultural sector or assisting their families in brick kilns, and stone quarries. Bonded laborers in India are mostly migrant workers, which open them up to more exploitation. Also they mostly come from low caste groups such as dalits or marginalized tribal groups.

The government has made efforts to prohibit all kinds of child labor by enacting Child labor laws  but fails to completely uproot it.
Sadly we still see children who are suppose to be playing and studying are working and losing their precious childhood. Together say no to child labor

Secular India with communal conflicts.

India is a land of unity in diversity and people from many religious, social and cultural backgrounds harmoniously live in India.
However the diversity of the subcontinent has often been exposed under threats of religious violence.The Communal violence is one of the major threats to Indian democracy. It has been a barrier to the economic development of India.
The Communal issue has deep roots in the Indian past. The colonial rule was based on communal divisions. The British found the divide and rule policy as the most comfortable way to establish their hold in Indian subcontinent.
The communal issue associated with the Partition of India was one of the major catastrophes in Indian history. India faced the worst form of communal violence during the Partition which led to massive death and destruction.
Even after independence, communal violence continues. The first major clash between Hindus and Muslims occurred in Madhya Pradesh in 1961, the anti sikh riots 1984, the latest one Muzafarnagar riots in September 2013.There have been plenty more.
The Instrumental Explanation of Riots
In India, riots are often portrayed as a ‘spontaneous’ reaction to an event that acted as a trigger, where the rioters are anti-social extremist elements who threaten peace and amity between communities. This narrative distances the violence from the masses, ignores the  silence of the majority and more importantly, does not identify the political actors, authorities who gain from these riots and therefore instigate or refuse to prevent them.
Riots are triggered due to the presence of ‘institutionalized riot systems’, informal networks that nevertheless function on ‘established links of communication’ wherein a community is aware of the roles that will be played by specific persons during a riot. The rioters are often well-known to the police and local authorities.  A set of ‘specialists’ take on different roles: from those involved in the actual physical violence as ‘mobile gangs’, to those ‘fire tenders’ who await the chance of a riot by keeping the level of communal relations in a state of tension and others who work at spreading rumors, inciting violence among the general public. 
 Riots therefore, are partly organized, partly spontaneous forms of collective action designed to appear or made to appear afterwards as a spontaneous expressions of popular feeling.
It is the vote-bank dependent political environment banking on the evocative use of religious symbols and historical memories to polarize its audience, in my opinion, that helps explain the emotions of those civilians who participate in the violence, the silence of those who while not participating in the riots, do nothing to prevent it or help those who are being attacked.

The UPA government came up with a bill Communal violence (Suppression) Bill soon after it came to power. However, it was rejected owing to its legal faults. Later Communal violence (Prevention, Control and Rehabilitation) Bill was introduced in Parliament in 2005. It was referred to the parliamentary committee on constitutional affairs for review.
Prevention of communal and targeted violence (Access to Justice and reparations) Bill, 2011 is one of the  bills introduced in the Parliament with an agenda to prevent communal clashes.
According to the bill it aims to provide equal access to justice and protection to the vulnerable groups through effective provisions for investigation, prosecution and trial of offenses.
The Bill also intends to provide for the restorative relief, rehabilitation and compensation to all persons affected by communal violence.
The Bill aims to prevent atrocities, sexual assault, unlawful assemblies, hate propaganda etc being organized leading to communal violence.
There are constant pressures from the social activists to pass the bill for the prevention of communal violence in the country. However, due to the criticisms of some of the contentious provisions of the bill, it continues to be in cold storage.
According to the BJP and its allies, the bill is anti-majority and against the Federal structure of the nation.
 However all these issues and other can be discussed on the floor of the house by introducing the bill in the Parliament and eliminate its shortcomings. After that it should be made into a law. The prevention of communal violence is essential to keep the secular spirit of the constitution and the glory of the nation.
The recent Dadri killing over beef rumor is one more example of a could be possible communal violence. Wake up people is this what we want,killing innocent people over rumors or in fact i should say yes over an animal. "NO"  i am sure not,so lets pledge not to get lured over religious and sentimental propagandas spread and infected into us by enemies of secularism. We are all one, We are all Indians.

SPREAD HARMONY - LIVE IN PEACE - LOVE ALL .

God Men or Businessmen?

India, the land of spiritualism has evolved since centuries and considered a great religious hub in Asia.  Countless spiritual leaders of India are worshiped and acknowledged by religiously inclined people from all parts of the world. Their devotees hail from all seven continents of the world. Most of these spiritual leaders have taken Indian religious beliefs and culture to a golden summit which barely other could ever reach.
Now there is another side of the coin as well. Many of the religious leaders of India are blamed for turning spirituality into a profitable business. The sacredness of spirituality has been boiled down to money making ventures which are further encouraged by industrialists, politicians and ministers. Evidently the Gurus not only earn huge profits from this business, they acquire enormous power to alter the economical, social and political situations of the country. Once upon a time India was inseparable from spirituality and nowadays it is spirituality and business means the same!

THE VERY FIRST QUESTION THAT COMES INTO THE MIND IS THE CAUSE OF SPIRITUALISM TURNING INTO BUSINESS?
Almost every Indian citizen, irrespective of their cast, creed, religion or social status, is somehow associated with spiritualism, especially the spiritual leaders. They bear blind faith about their religious masters and they can do anything and everything in order to obey the words of their gurus. As a matter of fact Guru ism has not only infected the rural parts of the country but also the urban cults who are blessed with best education. In spite of being educated countless people give up their rationality and become submissive in front of their spiritual gurus.  It is the cravings for spiritual enlightenment that drive them towards the guru culture.
 In order to incorporate spirituality in business, Gurus often exploit the religious beliefs and superstitions of the masses.

 In the name of spiritualism, wide varieties of spiritual products are sold to the commoners. These products are quite pricey and act as a great source of income for the gurus. Spiritual magazines, books, incense sticks, oils, food supplements and medicines are the most popular merchandise available at almost all spiritual hubs. Stores are located at almost all major cities and the products sell really well owing to the impressive fan following of this spiritual leader. Even in some cases some Gurus were involved in illegal activities such as human trafficking. Every now and then we can hear such news.
Most of the gurus run their business through trusts so that their names are not directly associated with the matter. Apart from selling various spiritual products, they earn hefty revenues in form of donation. Charities come from the millionaires across the globe; not to mention the donations from common people of India. As a matter of astonishment, Indians who are already poverty-stricken and dispossessed do not fall back when it comes to contributing for a religious cause.  Indeed the small donations sum up to a large amount in consequence of surplus population in the country.
Many Indian spiritual leaders are very much in limelight these days. In fact both media and masses have given them adequate coverage and worldwide publicity. Their cult of devotees includes politicians, scientists and business men. But lately they have been involved in fatal scandals although their aura remained unharmed owing to the spiritual prejudice of Indians. Some had been accused on murder charges and  sex scandals.
It is high time that Indians become conscious about the dark sides of their spiritual leaders and stop them from exploiting their religious beliefs and values. It will mark an end for spiritualism as business.
Ending with a thought that there is both good and evil everywhere and so there are both spiritual leaders who do have divine powers and love for their followers and then there are spiritual robbers.God has given us the power and strength to judge and follow what and where wright is.
( NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE )

Indian politics - correction religion politics.

Religion plays an important role in Indian Politics. They co-exists in India. Hindu nationalism, Muslim “vote banks”, anti-Christian violence, caste rivalry — Indian politics has more than enough interfaith tension of  all kinds to play as  “religion cards” during elections. 
All parties refer to them as socialist parties but are they?
Where does Communalism come then as a tool for electoral gains? Communalism is not actually a conflict between two religions but between the interests of two or more communities. It is using religious identity for political mobilisation. That is where religion becomes a tool. Religion is not a fundamental cause, religion per se does not cause any problem. Nobody is fighting whether Islam is right or Christianity is right or Hinduism is right. The main point is what the government does for Muslims, for Christians,for sikhs, for Hindus… The BJP bases its whole politics around accusations that Congress uses Muslims as vote banks and inclines towards them, does a lot of favours for them. ‘The Muslims vote for Congress and they claim we are against vote bank politics,’. But the BJP itself is basing its politics on the Hindu vote bank.

India is not a nation in the classical sense as in some countries which are based on  language and culture. But India is a bewilderingly diverse country and we have made it one nation. Declaring it a nation was easy, but in the process of nation-building, all these forces have come into play. Whatever development takes place is not based on justice. It is highly skewed. Some religious communities get much more than others, some castes or regions get much more than others. That is why this question of identity has become so important. Those who are left out use their identity to mobilise their people. Similarly, those who are privileged see a threat when other communities mobilise, so they also have to use their identity to ward off this. This is the interplay of religion and politics.
Mixing of religion with politics is dangerous because religious attitude is diametrically opposed to democratic feelings. Religion encourages fanaticism and suspends our reasoning power and we repose full faith in leaders. So if we want to consolidate democracy give firm foundations to it and make its working successful, it is necessary that the people should keep religion apart from politics.By keeping them independent of each other, we can retain secular democratic set-up. 
Finally, it can be admitted to all that politicians and political parties should be free from vitiated politics, free from religion vote banking. They should possess constructive view in respect of the masses,the states and our nation as in whole

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Invisible people- Homeless on the streets.

My article will be short, but important to those sensitive to the human condition. It is about our basic humanity and responsibility to respect our fellow humans. It is about the problem of the street people we see every day in any big city. How do we look at these nameless people? What do we do when they importune us for money? How much respect or conversation or eye contact do we have with them? What do we think about them?  
Every person has a story about how/why they came to be where they are. No one wants to be homeless, no one deserves to be in that situation. At the very least, as human beings, homeless individuals are deserving of our respect. It could be any one of us that finds themselves in their shoes one day.
When we see people who are homeless, we often make assumptions. Maybe we assume they’re addicts or mentally ill or belonging to begging mafia. And some of them are.But homeless people rarely get an opportunity to tell their life stories or explain how they ended up in the situations they’re in.
As a human being, we have a responsibility to treat every such person we encounter with dignity and respect. I feel what they truly desire, is respect. Yes, like all of us, they need food, warmth, safety and companionship, even love and compassion if it comes their way, but it is the respect of their fellow human that is most important and the easiest and minimum what we can give without hesitation.
I would like to share one  experience I have had once outside a doctor's clinic where I saw this guy siting on the stairs, rusty look, torn clothes, obviously seemed like a begger or a homeless,he was not asking for anything but only steering at the steps deep buried in his thoughts. He looked at me without any expression,without any demand but there was something that I felt right away and that thing was sadness, loneliness, lack of smile, lifeless life. I can go on and on but I like to give it one word it was DARK. So I decided to go and get some food for him and so I did, as I offered him food you know what he did? To anyone's surprise he said Beta 'son' you must be hungry yourself as I've been watching you standing here for quite long so you should eat first. Friends I have no words for such kindness. All I could do was to say no please you have it. They are not aliens or some dirty creatures,  they are all humans and they deserve love and respect. 
I have a dream of building a home for the homeless, I like to call it building hope for the homeless where these people will have a reason to smile. I hope that day comes soon.  
Ending my thoughts with a humble request to please treat each and everyone of them as fellow humans, give them some respect. There is nothing better than bringing smiles. As we all know the saying - Laughter is the best medicine. 

It's a girl... :-(

A serious issue which I want to share with my readers.
Female foeticide or infanticide, what is it? Another shameful curse to our society. Let me first explain what female foeticide means it is the selective abortion/elimination of the girl child in the womb itself, after the detection of the child’s gender through medical means and infanticide a childs murder after birth.
According to the statistics, nearly 10 million female foetuses have been aborted in the country over the past two decades. Of the 12 million girls born in India, one million do not see their first birthdays.
Girls are quickly disappearing. Anti-women traditions  have been carefully preserved over the ages. There are many communities, which regard sons as only offspring, and not daughters. Till 1980, infant girls used to be killed after they were born. Despite being banned, the incidence of feticide is on the rise.  Every year 5,00,000 baby girls are killed in India even before they step into this world. The practice is more prevalent among the weaker sections as their belief is that the education and marriage of a daughter is a financial burden on them.  Some believe that among rich and  educated class female infanticide and female feticide does not happen.But, i beg to differ, the study shows in India the ratio of girls to boys is the most skewed in South Delhi, a place where the rich and the educated live. It is here that the maximum number of girls go missing. Down from 904 to 845 in just 10 years. The Patels of Gujarat are a wonder,taditionally rich peasants, there is no trace of girls in their villages. It’s femicide, the systematic killing of women.  A holocaust going on against girls across the country.
Sometimes I think ‘educated’ people  can plan the murder of their fetuses with much more skill than uneducated people.

In India, we worship Goddess “Lakshmi” for wealth and Goddess “Saraswati” for knowledge but we kill our daughters. Are we not afraid of doing such a shameful crime? Killing a child before the birth is equivalent to a murder.
My dear fellow citizens, if the above situation provokes you, haunts you, then you should not just sit back,join hands together with organisations like "SAVE THE GIRL CHILD" and many more working  day and night to erase such crimes from the face of earth. It is not the sole responsibility of the government it is also a social challenge which we, as responsible citizens need to take up to put an end to this deviation.

Dreams......

As a child, we all have dreams, aspirations, unimaginable feats we’re unrealistically trying to achieve. Why is it that when we’re young, we’re so imaginative and willing to believe? Is it because we are still so innocent? What happens between childhood and adulthood that makes us all forget who we really are?  Maybe it’s this ideology that we’ve all taken up as a coping mechanism. Don’t expect much and you won’t be disappointed. Maybe it’s the realities of life that makes us push aside what we really want just to get by. That’s the process that I find most unfortunate of all  in life. There’s this ever encompassing idea that dreams can be too big for one individual to handle. We’d rather give up and settle than run a extra mile. We’re distracted by things we think we need and when we are unable to grasp it, our world goes awry.
Everything is wrong, but nothing is really wrong.
The difference between childhood and adulthood is the ability to put your dreams into actions. The child inside you believes..while the adult inside you acts. I believe that carrying big dreams in our hearts and then bringing them to life is an essential part of living fully.
I have seen many beautiful dreams fail simply because the dreamer didn’t have the self-confidence to see them through. They worry that maybe it was too big of a dream. They start to feel that maybe they aren’t actually good enough to want something so amazing.  Knowing that you are worthy of your dream is an essential part of bringing it to life. Growing up with positivity and affirmations helps create a solid foundation of self-esteem.
Most essential thing is one should be okay with failing.  If you never try to reach your dreams because you’re afraid that you’ll fail, then you’ll never know for sure if you could have made them come true.
 It’s just one life that we have now..it’s everything in between that makes it a great ending.

Uncertainty. ...a test

Sometimes when life throws us a curve ball, We try to think of it as a test; as some obstacle thrown in our way just to see how we will react. And when we encounter those moments we try to hear these words: This is a test. This is only a test.

It's a test of time. It's a test of faith. It's a test of life and of love and of taking each day for what it is. It's a test for all of us, to believe that everything will turn out ok; to believe that everything will turn out exactly as it should.

Because it's a test, there is also a secret. There is a key that unlocks the answers. The answer is simple: it's merely to try. To try your best. To try to understand. To try to have faith and have patience and have hope.

To solve the puzzle you just have to put yourself out there. You have to be yourself, you have to go with your gut. You have to be you to find the right way. You have to believe to keep on track.

And of course, there will be moments of doubt, there will be tears and sorrows. And although there may be heartache, there will also be solace. There will be riddles and there will be answers. We will think we are repeating old patterns but we will find new truths. We will be confronted with old demons and we will think differently about solutions. And just because something looks the same, just because a situation seems to rear its same ugly head, doesn't mean it is the same, doesn't mean the end is a forgone conclusion.

The answer is to try and to try again and again. Because in trying new things we may find new happiness. In the belief of things meant to be, we may find new light. In continuing to hope we may be the most surprised.Uncertainty can be uncomfortable, really nothing in life is certain, and in the meantime  we should surround ourselves with those we love, and relish in the joy of today while hoping for the best tomorrow.
After all, this is the life.

You Complete Me

Today I am writing about how a relationship fails and rather going on and on with how, I will focus on how you can save it. So first let me ask you. Do you get easily disappointed things do not happen according to your anticipation? Yes....  Then let me assure you negative feelings is a curse. If you will fail in controlling your sentiments, you will not be successful in a relationship. It is important to analyze your feelings before they start to control over your intuition.  Remember the saying, ‘Drops of water make an ocean’, similarly, slight misinterpretations, and expectations create a strong feeling of abhorrence and revenge. When you find your partner is not satisfying your hopes, talk thoroughly and know what to expect. The thoughts like, ‘He or she will surely know what I want!’ or ' He or she understands the stress I am going through!’- Such thoughts show positivity and attachment couples feel for one another. But such expectations may lead to communication gaps gradually. Subsequently, thinking that ‘I don’t think he will like it’ or “I am not sure she knows my problems” convey sadness and destructive feelings entering into a relationship. Such mysteries hidden in your heart are the root cause of emerging solid misunderstanding between a couple. Over the years, small misconception about partner can bring down a relationship itself. So, what can you do to keep a strong relationship with your partner? Here are some guidelines that may help you: The primary step is to start noticing your feelings whenever they develop. Gradually, try to control them– eagerness, annoyance, irritation, frustration, etc. Be open about your feelings. Negative outbursts happen due to irritation, frustration, and disappointment. So, express your feelings in an honest and light manner to your partner. Keep away from your ego. Be a good listener to your partner and try to understand what he/she wants Don’t play a blame game rather try to find and execute a way out even if your partner fails to do so Communicate with empathy. Sit together to discuss the matter when both of you are comfortable and have ample energy to listen and one another and find solutions. Learn from each situation in life and understand how it affects both of you. Do not feel shy in communicating your true feelings to your partner. Do not keep mentioning to unwanted conditions that have made history. Be positive. Try to forgive and forget each other for the past for a better future. Try to show sincere apprehension in understanding your partner’s perspective. Feel sorry for the trauma your life partner is going through. Try not to argue under stress situations Try ways to make days special for your partner as it shows you care. All relationships started with love will grow stronger as it does the magic when all other things fail. Bonds of love need to be strengthened repeatedly. So, keep telling your life partner how much he or she means to you. But, Love alone is not adequate. With the passage of time, a better cognitive persuasion makes a relationship stronger than ever before. Life becomes interesting if you handle it well with patience, love and care. Worrying only increase the problems. So, keeping yourself calm in the stressful circumstances, this will motivate your partner as well and together you can definitely overcome the impediments. Love is not something to just let go when you are not feeling it. Once loved is always loved all you need to do is stick together and remember you both complete and compliment eachother. Stick together, stay blessed

Dowry: Devil in disguise

Every year in India, thousands of young brides lose their lives over dowry differences. They are murdered, burned or marred by husbands and in-laws, whose material requests stays unfulfilled. The dowry system is a social evil prevalent in India till date.

Among the social evils that prevail and plague in Indian society, the dowry system plays the most devastating role. It has spread out its tentacles far and wide in the society affecting almost every section of the society.

First let's talk about its origin.

The system of dowry had its origin in the Vedic period which began only as a formal rite in the institution of marriage. Among the various types of Hindu marriages, ‘Kanyadan’ played a significant role in the evolution of the dowry system. During Kanyadan, the bride was given as a gift to the bridegroom by her father. As stipulated in the Dharmasasthra, Kanyadan is a meritorious act and it is not complete until a bridegroom is given a dakshina while performing and solemnizing the ceremony of Kanyadan.

In other words during Kanyadan, the bridegroom has to be given something in cash or kind which constitute Varadakshina. Thus Kanyadan became associated with Varadakshina,i.e the cash or gifts in kind to be paid by the parents or guardian of the bride to the bridegroom. Thus Dakshina or Varadakshina was offered out of affection and did not constitute any kind of compulsion or obligation or consideration for the marriage.

However, in the course of time, the voluntary element associated with Varadakshina during Kanyadan marriage has disappeared and the coercive element has crept in. It has taken deep roots not only in the marriage ceremony but also extended to the post-marital relationship.

Thus what was originally intended as a token for Dakshina for the bridegroom has now gone out of proportion and has assumed the modern way ‘dowry’, a greedy monster.

The system of dowry has also become a primary source of post-marital disputes. When the agreed amount of dowry is not paid or it is partly paid and partly promised, some times the marriage is solemnized and even consummated. When the bride’s family is not able to fulfill the promise of dowry due to poverty, the strife begins at the marital home, in which the entire family members of the bridegroom is pitted against the bride. Going further, the bride for no fault of her, is verbally abused in a vituperative language, assaulted or violently beaten by her husband, in extreme cases the bride is strangled to death or put to flame using petrol or kerosene. The bride is not spared even when she is pregnant or a mother of a baby.

Unable to fulfill the dowry demands of the marital home, the bride is mostly driven back to her parent’s home. Somehow or other, the brides parents should fulfill the demands for dowry, so as to ensure a better future for their daughters at their marital homes. In the result, the bride’s parents become heavily indebted and wallow in poverty or struggle to have their both ends meet throughout their life.

In the modern days, the Dowry Prohibition Act specifically makes the act of demanding or taking as well as giving dowry during the marriage a crime. Consequently, there is a long queue of hapless women standing before the women police stations as well as the courts to file a complaint against the members of their marital home. In some cases, harassment for dowry results in deaths of women leading to a protracted trail against the members of the marital home.

As early as 1939, the evils of the dowry system were felt. Sporadic State legislations were to prevent the widely prevalent dowry system. Subsequent to independence, the Government of India began to enact legislations empowering women in India.

In the Hindu Succession Act, 1955, a woman was placed on equal footing with men, entitling them to have property rights. The Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961, tries to do away with the system of dowry by declaring that both taking and giving dowry as a crime. It stipulated punishments up to 2 years for dowry harassment and up to 10 years of rigorous imprisonment for deaths caused by dowry harassment. Certainly, these enactments act as a deterrent against the system of dowry. However, by and large still the system of dowry prevails.

It requires concrete and sustained efforts to campaign against the system of dowry and eradicate it once and for all from the society:

i) It should begin from the schools and colleges in which the student community should be properly educated against the evils of dowry system and they should even take a vow that they will not give or take dowry from their prospective spouses.

ii) Promoting love marriages on the one hand helps to abolish the caste system and on the other hand it helps to throw away the dowry system into the dust bin.

iii) Spreading the message against the dowry system by conducting periodical legal aid camps and offering counseling to the victims as well as the general public will help to spread the awareness among them against the dowry system.

iv) Creating more stringent provisions in the dowry prohibition act like a higher punishment to those who take or give or even demand dowry. Imposing punishments like imprisonment to those who cause the death of the victim by dowry harassment is a way of giving stringent punishment.

v) The root cause for the existence and continuation of the dowry system is that parents of the bride despite being poor agree to the unreasonable demands for dowry made by the parents of the bridegroom. Therefore, they should make it a policy that they will never agree or make any compromise on the issue of giving or taking dowry, no matter how long their daughter may remain unmarried.

It requires a whole lot of serious commitment to eradicate the system of dowry that every one needs to realise. Let's join hands together to fight against every social evil that prevails in our society. 

Islam Misunderstood

Unfortunately Islam has now become a faith associated with terrorism. Angst was heightened worldwide after the 9/11 attack where Muslims were portrayed as people associated to the concept of destruction and fear. Before we knew it, a once peaceful religion and culture was now defined as promoter terrorism and unjustly seen as the ultimate enemy, overnight, primarily because of the mistakes of a small group of people.

Few questions that are mostly asked which I would like to answer or clear to my readers:

1) Does Islam promote violence and killing of innocents?

NO religion promotes violence, nor does it ask its followers to kill others. These inhuman choices are purely based on individuals using their religion to attack others and not because of the Quran or any other Holly book.

In the Quran [sura 5, verse 32] it states: “If anyone slays a person, it would be as if he slew the whole people: and if any one saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of the whole people.”

Using the religion to justify mass murders is even more cruel and upsetting than the act itself. That’s because two sins are committed—the murders themselves, and then defamation of Islam by using the religion to justify them. To put it lightly, it’s an outright insult to Islam and the above verse.

Although, it’s in my honest opinion that our religion is established purely on our individual perspective. It’s how we interpret it or in most cases, it’s how religion has been interpreted to us as we grown up. More often then not, our beliefs are much the same as those we grow up with in our family surroundings and social settings. It’s the beliefs that we are raised with. Sure we might question these as we grow older, but these beliefs are the fundamentals to our growth and the stepping stones we adopt through out our life.

2) Why are Muslims targeting “the west”?

A widely asked question, Once again, this is just generalization. Muslims have nothing against the west and in fact, most Muslims go there to live a peaceful and beautiful life. That of which we can definitely understand why.

The west is being targeted by a group of individuals in the name of their faith as they declare “a holy war” even against each other, their own people. There are 5-12 million Muslims in the United States alone, but that’s not a reason to claim each and every single one as a terrorist.

In saying that, we need to remember that the west is not the only one suffering from terrorism in the world. Countries like India, Iraq and Pakistan are also enduring the true suffering of terrorism right now. Pakistan itself has groomed terrorists for many years but is now suffering from the adverse effects of it. The horrific attack in Peshawar is testament to the devastation that has occurred in Pakistan which has broken hearts all around the world. The west is not suffering, the world is suffering.

3) Does all Muslim countries promote extremism?

They don’t. Extremism has stemmed from the individuals of this world, not religion. It can also be based on an individual country. Take North Korea for example which is said to be one of the most extreme countries. North Korea is under complete dictatorship and is essentially isolated from the world because of its nuclear capabilities that can pose a serious threat worldwide at any moment, especially to it’s neighbours South Korea and Japan. But – Are we scared of North Koreans when we recognize one? Do we tarnish every North Korean we see with the same brush? No!.  Muslims must not be  seen as the ultimate enemy, it is the extremist or clearly put, terrorists who are the enemy of humanity.

4) Why does Islam not practice equal rights?

This is another hugely common misconception of Islam. Many Muslim countries practice equality and have the same rights for women as westerners. These practices are based on the individual country and what that country imposes, not Islam as a whole. The media creates so much emphasis on the combination of ISIS and Muslims and the association of the sickening acts they prevail with that it becomes difficult to judge or understand.

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Being a Muslim I should say I am ashamed of what these religious extremist are doing around the world,the killings of innocent people, children's,women, The so called Islamic state is even selling them as slaves but I will say I am saddened but not ashamed as they are not Muslims. Terrorists don't belong to any religion, they are not holy warriors and have no right or say over Islam or any religion.

We all belong to different religion and culture, humanity should be are first religion and that is what all Holy books teach us.

Ending on a personal note, I am Muslim and an Indian which I am proud of. I don’t wish to be discriminated just because some group of people think they are true followers of Islam which is wrongly put and used by them. We all are religious people but terrorism has no religion.

My Mother My Pride

One day out of the year, we have this beautiful opportunity to give back the people who have given us so much: our moms.

So, Mom, this one is for you:

Thank You For Your Unconditional love. 

Mom you have sacrificed so much in order to give your children a better life than we could ever dream.

Life has been difficult at times for you, from loosing abba in such a age where you were suopose to be enjoying the new chapter of your life and be carefree about the harsh world outside. Mom I remember the times of your loneliness, I was 2 but I could still feel the pain my mother was going through but it never came to her face and to the heart of her children. Well thats how strong my mother is. A graceful beautiful lady with high morals and esteem,  a highly qualified Delhi girl who faught all the battels alone and reached to become the highest and most respected cadre of J&K" a "KAS Officer". Mom you have been a social worker, you have helped many and most of all you have encouraged thousands of people around. You are an amazing mother, a high headed honest strong officer, sn amazing cook but the surest is you are a wonderful caring mother. You truely have super powers.

I want to thank you but thanking you myt be endless

Mom there have been times when I’ve felt like giving up, when things were not going my way. Each time, you were there to remind me of my worth as a human being. And to pass on your strength in me.

You encouraged me to keep reaching for the unreachable and never settle for anything less than I deserved. No matter how bizarre my dreams were — from becoming president or an astronaut— you always told me to go after what would make me happy. Thank you for believing in me, encouraging me to do my best.I have confidence and I believe in myself because of you. Thank you for supporting my dreams and ideas. I need to make mistakes and have failures to grow, so thanks for being there when I’m down, and for helping me find my way back up.

Thank you mom for keeping me warm, for keeping me calm and for keeping me sane.
Thank you for understanding that there were times that I would be mad with you but always forgiving me in the end.Thank you for sticking up for me, for encouraging me, for believing in me and
for letting me know that you never expected more than the best I could do. 

As I get older, I realize more and more how much you have done for me and continue to do every day. Ammi you are an  inspiration for me and this is just a  little effort to pay tribute to my pride my mother. 

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

Eve teasing a crime undealt

Our society is suffering from many social evils at the moment. One of The worst evils is the Eve Teasing, it has been growing like an epidemic. The structure of Indian society has always been male dominated. But in the modern era, women tried to break the centuries of shackles by venturing into male dominated areas.  Though, we have grown by leaps and bounds yet the most basic structure of society is showing no signs of improvement against it.

A thorough look at the news paper daily shows you so many incidents against woman and you  get to hear it from your loved ones too at times. Doesn't  it bother you? I on the other hand feel like taking the law into my hands and bring peace to the mind of the victim.Eve teasing is a huge issue .A large percentages of Indian women have faced or are facing this menace. Whether it is a public transport system or public places or shopping malls or multiplexes, women find themselves vulnerable to the threat of eve teasing everywhere. Nowadays Eve teasing has become intolerable.

A lewd stare, a sly whistle, a well-timed clap, an unwarranted bump, a seemingly casual touch, a lingering look at a vulnerable time, the humming of a suggestive song, passing downright uncouth comments, cheap gestures,some which I feel ashamed to even mention, all these are typical examples of eve teasing.The ways an eve teaser can harass a woman is surely endless! Unfortunately many Muslim youth have also adopted this disgraceful way of Eve Teasing. 

Remember that Islam has taught us to respect our womenfolk  and fear Allah regarding them as Prophet(peace be upon him) mentioned in his Last Khattab to the Ummah. Casting lustful glance at women is forbidden and can lead to grave consequences in the Hereafter.

Eve teasing is complex problem and it requires more attention that what it has actually got. Every man needs to be aware of ‘how to treat a woman. The traditional mindset often blames the eve teasing incidents on women that they provoke male by wearing scanty clothes, what about the ones wearing burkhas. That is actually a lame excuse. Even if females wear modern dresses it does not give men license to harass women. The answer lies in changing the mindset and inculcating morals and values.

Many women have been found carrying pins, chilli powder, pen-knives, and even daggers to protect themselves. Self-defense classes have mushroomed across metropolitan cities that teach martial arts and karate etc. If you feel too shy and reserved to defend yourself and keep the suffering to yourself, its time you get up and raise your voice. Although, you can always pretend to ignore all the lewd comments but things would be much better if you can just look straight into the eyes of the offender and speak up.

Eve teasing must be stopped. Women deserve respect. Men and women are equal. Our lack of consciousness has lead to a loss of many lives. But we don't want any more lives to say good bye to this world. Women have the right to live freely in the world. Independence is their birth right. The family and society of the victims or teased girls should have the courage and resolve to support them. Most often, they are misunderstood by their family whenever they inform the family members about teasing. The family and society should support them mentally. So as the govt. must take things seriously. The country wants both of them to be active in such issues. Changing this behavior is easier said than done. However, if things are left alone, they could hardly get better. A behavioral change is the only lasting solution to this problem. This requires an extensive public education aimed at every section of society at large. As an individual i have the courage and pledge to support in every possible way. Do you?

Ending it with My personal thought " I hate this shameless crime and as a brother,a son,a friend,I hate the feeling of even hearing what anyone has to go or had gone through. And it hurts to even trying to put myself in there shoes and feel the disgrace and pain caused over by such acts. Remember such crime less perpetrators are the only ones who groom into becoming  another Mukesh Singh, Ram Singh and the victims into Nirbhaya. Don't stray away from it, this is a serious matter. One old saying "let the dogs bark".... I say  "No let's not".